Friday, May 23, 2008

It is Time For a Change - Time We Brought Something Back to the Oval Office that Has Been Missing for This Entire Century


Michelle and I, like many leading Democrats, enjoy a good cigar now and then. And, as we all know - the best cigars are rolled by Cubans (Dominicans roll them too tight, just like their crepes). We just smoke them - I cannot believe you went there - shame on you! And my smoking proves that I am not a secret Muslim (not that there is anything wrong with that), because Muslims cannot smoke - so I hear.

Thus, I have today announced the beginnings of my policy of normalizing relations with Cuba - to start with, we will be opening the channels of diplomacy through aid and travel. Lifting the embargo will, unfortunately, take time. Now that they are able to get PCs, the Cuban subscription base of this blog is sure to skyrocket - leading to a quick adoption of my ideals by the Cuban public.

But with all the tourists going back and forth come next January, the supply of black market Cuban Cigars will double or perhaps even treble overnight. I predict that demand will match the supply, so there will be no Cuban Cigar crash to fear. There will be no sub-prime cigars: I will have the Secret Service retasked to hunt down the substandard fake cigars that trap the unwary tourists.

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